My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
