Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.