My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude