Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
