thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize