I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
