lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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