Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
