She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
