nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
