Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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