im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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