Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
