Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
