Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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