Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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