Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
