We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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