There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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