I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
