I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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