So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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