Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
