If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
