Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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