He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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