So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
