I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
