AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
