I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
