It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
