My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You've changed since you got that strap on
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
