i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
