all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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