Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize