I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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