So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
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I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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