I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
