Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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