living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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