He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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