i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How naked do you want me to be?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
