What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
third nipple confirmed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
