Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
