i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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