belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
