apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm bleeding and have questions
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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