Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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