She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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