I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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