I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
