in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
