You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
