So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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