I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
