I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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