I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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