I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize