I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
