I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
