I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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