We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
