If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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