I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
