people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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