ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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