Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
